Right now…

…Christian is making the three-hour drive to pick up Colin’s birth brother and birth sister (Jason and Hailey). In about six hours, they will be at our house for the first time. They are staying with us tonight (Thursday) through Sunday.

I am nervous.

I am nervous because this is a new step in our open adoption relationship and there are all kinds of implications. I’m excited, but I also understand why some of those close to us would have reservations or be uneasy. I really think it is a good thing though. These kids have had tough lives, and Christian and I want to be there for them in some way. I also want them to be able to spend time with Colin (and Noah and Zoe, too, of course!).

I am nervous because our living condition is nicer than theirs, and this will be the first time that they see that. It is strange, because I don’t consider us wealthy, but I probably take for granted sometimes that we do live a comfortable life. I see people whose houses are bigger and nicer than ours and think, “Those people are rich.” I don’t include us in that category. I worry about our mortgage, student loans, trying to save for retirement, yada, yada, yada, but I take it for granted that I was able to buy all three kids new shoes and clothes for school yesterday without a second thought. Will they think it’s not fair that their brother is living one way while they are living another? Am I just worrying too much? I mean, obviously I can’t do anything about it. It is what it is. I just don’t want to throw it in their faces. (Interestingly, when I was little, my step-aunt lived in the neighborhood where we live now, and I thought the houses were SO nice. I thought they were rich. We lived in an apartment at the time. It’s all about perspective, huh?)

Mostly, I am nervous because Hailey is 11 and Jason is almost 13. I haven’t been around kids that age for a while, probably since my cousins who are now 18 and in their 20s were that age. And, on top of the fact that they are preteens, there’s the whole dilemma of keeping kids their age plus my kids who are 5-, 4-, and 3-years-old entertained. It’s a bit of an age gap, but I think we have it figured out. Right now, this is the plan:

  • Thursday – They get in around 7pm. We order pizza and just hang out.
  • Friday – Colin has school and Christian has to work, so I will take Jason, Hailey, Noah, and Zoe to the Childrens’ Museum. Friday night we’ll all go somewhere for dinner.
  • Saturday – We’ll all go to the zoo. That night we are going to my parents’ for spaghetti.
  • Sunday – We’ll hang out at my parents lake for a while before leaving to take them home at 3pm (we are meeting their grandma halfway).

That’s enough, but not too much, right? Any other ideas?

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7 thoughts on “Right now…

  1. That sounds like a pretty good mix of things to do. If you found some time where you needed more of a filler activity you could maybe have the older kids do an art or craft project with the littler ones? You could do tie die t-shirts or something. I used to do that at the daycare center I worked at and it was a great “bridging” activity to bring younger and older kids together. I think it is wonderful that you are doing this!

  2. I am reading your post thinking that is us. Our birthmom is due 9.14.11 ( c-section) and last sunday we spent 5hours with her & her 2 duaghters ( 7-2 yrs old) And you think… Am I geting to close? I like our b-mom & her girls are wonderful. What if at some point they want to come our house.. and they see what she has compared to them. not what they have is not great…. you know how kids are. ( we are not rich either but are lucky to be able to afford things with out worrying daily) anyway now I am curious to how your weekend goes… can not wait to read next post

  3. When you mentioned there was a lot going on, I didn’t realize! So Sorry! I Would much love to talk to you….It’s Suzanne (Phu tho, Phu Ninh, Thien Phu and Boa thanh connections.
    maybe some possibilities…
    With love from fellow mom,
    SUZANNE

  4. It went well. I’m still processing it all and editing over 100 photos!

    I got Noah off to kindergarten this morning and just finished a big project at work, so I’m hoping to have some time to get through things in the next couple of days.

  5. Pingback: Jason and Hailey are coming tomorrow | My Minivan Rocks!

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