Out of the Mouths: Noah’s Random Stream of Consciousness

Noah is a night owl. We put him to bed every night, knowing that we will see him again soon. He gets up at least three times each night. Sometimes it’s six or seven times. He’ll say he has to go potty, and then get up ten minutes later saying the same thing. Then he says he has an itch inside his ear he can’t scratch. Or the hamper in his room is scaring him. Or his toe hurts. Or something.

If Christian and I are watching TV downstairs, we will catch him on the stairs, peeking around the corner. If Christian is downstairs and I’m upstairs, he’ll come in my room and ask if he can lie down with me to cuddle. If he comes in and I’m doing laundry or I’m on the computer, he’ll come back 20 minutes later to see if I am finished so he can ask if he can lie down with me to cuddle. Usually I say no, but sometimes I let him.

Christian went to watch a football game at my parents’ house one night recently, and Noah knew that was his in. I put the kids to bed, but Noah was back in my room five minutes later. 

I let him get in bed with me so we could watch the game. I thought we’d snuggle for a while, but NOOOO. The kid talked for THREE-HOURS about stuff like this:

On that episode of Sponge Bob, he got stung by a jelly fish… Sea Turtles eat jelly fish… I saw that on a Diego a long time ago,… but we were in this house, so it wasn’t that long ago. It wasn’t in our old house… When we were in our old house, I wasn’t old enough for you to leave me alone. I’m still not old enough. If I woke up and you weren’t here I wouldn’t know how to turn on the movie I wanted. And I would be scared to be home by myself, too… That’s a Mercedes on that commercial… See, they just said it was a Mercedes. I told you. That Mercedes is a convertible. You can’t drive with the top down when it’s raining though. You would get wet. Just like your blanket and pillow would get wet if you tried to sleep in the bathtub… I don’t sleep in the bathroom, but I brush my teeth there. Maybe when I’m older and I have some money I can go to the store and buy an electric Bakugan toothbrush. I still like the Thomas toothpaste better than the Bakugan toothpaste though… But you would have to take me to the store. I don’t remember which store it was… Remember when we were at the store and I got my Hex Bug? It was that store.

Am I the only horrible mother that sometimes just has to tune her kids out?

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7 thoughts on “Out of the Mouths: Noah’s Random Stream of Consciousness

  1. Love this post! You just described life with an almost 5 year old! I’m always amazed that Carter has more to say than his older sister! Sometimes it’s fun to listen, other times he justs get a lot of uh-huhs:) We could be in that horrible mom club together.

  2. Oh no! I’ve learned long ago to tune my kids out. It’s very rare that I tune out something important and then I just tell them that they should be more selective in what they go on and on about. Maybe we need a “safe word” so I know when to listen and when to just pretend I’m listening! 😛

  3. HA!!!!! I nearly choked to death reading this. I always say that Ev doesn’t need oxygen to live, she just needs to flap her yap! And no- you are not the only one to go on auto-pilot. We have to. It’s survival pure and simple.

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