Edited to add: No, I am not talking abut a real live goldfish. I am talking about a Goldfish cracker (with a capital “G”), the tasty staple of toddler snacking. There has been some confusion. A real live goldfish would have made this an entirely different story.
As I lay in bed awake the other night next to my husband, Snorey McSnorerson, random thoughts raced through my mind. I remembered watching an episode of ER several years ago in which one of the doctors knew a cool trick for easily removing an object from a child’s ear. Or was it a child’s nose? Was it a marble?
I couldn’t remember, but I started to think that maybe I should look that up. I wasn’t sure exactly what that Google search would look like, but it might be useful information to have. I mean, I do have Zoe as my daughter, so I knew I’d probably need to have that skill in my parenting toolbox sooner or later. After all, she was sticking sugar snap peas up her nose at dinner the other night (right before she decided it was more fun to squeeze the peas out of the ‘sugar snap’ sheath). Surely it wouldn’t be long before she moved on to more solid objects.
And today it happened. And I had never gotten around to looking it up.
She put a Goldfish up her nose and got it stuck. It happened so fast that I don’t remember exactly how I removed it, but it was traumatic and it resulted in a bloody nose (Zoe’s nose, not mine, although it’s amazing she didn’t make mine bleed as she kicked and flailed about as I tried to pin her down). Then, after I got the Goldfish out and I was trying to wipe her bloody nose, she picked up said Goldfish from the coffee table, ate it, and laughed, once again demonstrating what a delicate little flower she is.
Man I love that girl.