The Goldfish up Zoe’s nose

Edited to add: No, I am not talking abut a real live goldfish. I am talking about a Goldfish cracker (with a capital “G”), the tasty staple of toddler snacking. There has been some confusion. A real live goldfish would have made this an entirely different story.  

As I lay in bed awake the other night next to my husband, Snorey McSnorerson, random thoughts raced through my mind. I remembered watching an episode of ER several years ago in which one of the doctors knew a cool trick for easily removing an object from a child’s ear. Or was it a child’s nose? Was it a marble?

I couldn’t remember, but I started to think that maybe I should look that up. I wasn’t sure exactly what that Google search would look like, but it might be useful information to have. I mean, I do have Zoe as my daughter, so I knew I’d probably need to have that skill in my parenting toolbox sooner or later. After all, she was sticking sugar snap peas up her nose at dinner the other night (right before she decided it was more fun to squeeze the peas out of the ‘sugar snap’ sheath). Surely it wouldn’t be long before she moved on to more solid objects.

And today it happened. And I had never gotten around to looking it up.

She put a Goldfish up her nose and got it stuck. It happened so fast that I don’t remember exactly how I removed it, but it was traumatic and it resulted in a bloody nose (Zoe’s nose, not mine, although it’s amazing she didn’t make mine bleed as she kicked and flailed about as I tried to pin her down). Then, after I got the Goldfish out and I was trying to wipe her bloody nose, she picked up said Goldfish from the coffee table, ate it, and laughed, once again demonstrating what a delicate little flower she is.  

Man I love that girl.


13 thoughts on “The Goldfish up Zoe’s nose

  1. I am laughing here. We haven’t had such incidents here yet but I’m betting that “something stuck up the nose” day will come soon enough.

  2. Ok, so I was with ya’ until the “she ate it” part. I hope it wasn’t a bloody goldfish. Yuck! She is somethin’…

  3. Susan- I do mean the cracker, thankfully. A real goldfish would have made it a completely different experience!

    Char- Yes, I do mean the bloody Goldfish! She’s somethin’ isn’t she?

  4. Really glad to hear it was a cracker! I’ve been out of the toddler snack biz for quite some time and I had completely forgotten about the goldfish crackers. I was hyperventilating when I read that she ate it – now I can just wrinkle my nose and laugh.

  5. Susan- I hope you don’t hyperventilate when you read this: When I was in college there was a fraternity that had an annual party where you swallowed a live goldfish in a shot. I did not attend the party, but a sorority sister of mine did. After getting so many questions about it, she finally posted a note in the bathroom that said, “Just wanted to let you all know that everything ‘came out’ OK. Love, Jen.”

  6. Um, gross! LOL…I think you win for having the daughter that is least squeamish. Hahaha!

    Oh, and ok…so I read that story first thinking it was a real goldfish and wondering exactly how big Zoe’s nose was. LOL!

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