Last week I went to get her from her nap. As I opened the door I saw something white on the floor. Before I could say, “Please God don’t let that be her diaper,” I realized it was.
Luckily there was no poo, because she managed to make a big enough mess with just a #1. This is one time I wish I had a video monitor and could have witnessed this event, because I am having a hard time envisioning just how she did this. This is my best guess as to the sequence of the events:
- She took her diaper off and threw it on the floor in front of the crib. Then, just for good measure, she threw her doll on the floor right next to the diaper.
- She somehow lifted her leg like a dog to mark her territory on the crib slats. She peed down the crib slats until the pee pooled on the crossbar at the bottom.
- Noticing the diaper and the doll on the floor, she changed directions, shooting the pee directly out the front like a fire hose, managing to soak them both. I thought only little boys had aim like that!
- Deciding that she hadn’t quite made a big enough mess, she noticed the 4-foot stuffed caterpillar in her crib out of the corner of her eye. Knowing what a pain in her mom’s *ss it is to shove a 4-foot stuffed caterpillar in the washing machine, she squatted over its head and squeezed out the little bit of pee she had left in her.
Duct tape, here we come!