Mama had (tried to have) a baby and her head popped off…

My brain hurts, and I swear my head is going to explode. Either that or it is just going to literally shoot off my neck in the same way a child pops the head off a dandelion.

I have so much information and so many thoughts swirling around in my head, and I am exhausted. In addition to the adoption stress, I think it’s also that I’m recovering from the time change from vacation, getting the kids back on their schedules, I haven’t been able to sleep much, I’m playing catch-up at work, I’m playing catch-up at home (WOW I’ve done a lot of laundry since Sunday), etc. I feel like I can barely utter a coherent sentence. Christian and I have been trying to have meaningful conversations about our adoption plans and options, but I feel like we mostly just stare at each other with our mouths hanging open like a couple of morons. We’re both pretty smart people, but it seems like we’re mostly mumbling things like, “Uh… I don’t know. What do you think?”

We have gotten some positive (or at least hopeful) news from our agency. Though they certainly cannot guarantee anything, they still think it is possible that we could have a referral in Vietnam before September 1. We are at a good place on “the list,” and the fact that we are open to minor developmental delays, low birth weight, etc. gives us a better chance at being matched with a child. Also positive is that our agency has not had any problems with I600 investigations so far and they are not working in any of the “blocked” provinces, so we don’t have to worry as much as some parents do that the United States would deny the child’s immigration visa if we do get a referral. A week and a half ago I was only feeling like we had a 1% chance of completing this adoption. Now I’m feeling more like it’s 60%

Another positive is that although our agency has stopped accepting outside applications for their Thailand program, they are considering families with current applications on a case-by-case basis. We have been given the go ahead to begin a dossier for Thailand while we wait to see what happens with Vietnam. Thailand has a solid, stable program, but it is very small. While Vietnam had 750 or so adoptions last year, Thailand had only about 50. The estimated time right now to complete the process is 24-30 months. That is a long time to be in process since things can change so quickly in international adoption, but our agency has been working there since the 1970s, so it’s about as secure as an international program can be. Still, the fact that it could be 2011 before we bring a child home is kind of daunting.

We also have our appointment tomorrow with a local domestic adoption attorney. I’ve been thinking about what to include in my “Dear Birthparents” letter and in our adoption profile for the last two weeks. Ten days ago I would have said that we would sign on the dotted line tomorrow and get the process going. Now I am not so anxious, but it certainly can’t hurt to gather the information.

P.S. The fact that the Embassy’s statement makes me even more concerned about the circumstances surrounding Zoe’s adoption is weighing heavy on my mind too, so please do not think that aspect of all of this has escaped me. Since we have been home and Phu Tho was closed, I had heard many of the things in the Embassy report were happening. It just compounds my worries to see it in black and white on a US government website. I’m sure I will write about it someday. I just can’t express my thoughts in a remotely articulate way yet.


6 thoughts on “Mama had (tried to have) a baby and her head popped off…

  1. I hope it works out for you! And I can only imagine how heavily this info weighs on you- you’re under no obligation to express to anyone your feelings. All the bestxx

  2. With less than 10 proven cases of fraud out of over 1000 adoptions, do you really think Zoe is the victim of corruption? I’m waiting on my I600 to clear for my daughter from Phu Tho (no red flags) and I just refuse to believe that every single adoption from that province is fraudulent. I even had a friend whose adoption from that province was investigated by the US (prior to the I600 requirement) and it was cleared. Just wondering what makes you so certain your adoption was corrupt since the US government deemed it valid and approved it. Thanks.


  3. Hmmm…after I got done reading that post I imagined Desserich child #3 coming home from Vietnam this winter and Desserich #4 coming home from Thailand 2 years later! Now that would be one busy family. I could drop off my little one for playdates and you wouldn’t even notice!

  4. I wish you the best of luck!!!! I am glad to hear that things are looking up for your next Vietnam adoption.
    I feel like we are in the same boat. We are still on the list for Vietnam and we are doing all the necessary paperwork for domestic. I feel like I will always be doing paperwork! ARGH!

  5. I didn’t address your PS- I know this is a difficult situation for all parents with little ones from Phu Tho. I can’t imagine how heavily it weights on your heart.

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