My brain hurts, and I swear my head is going to explode. Either that or it is just going to literally shoot off my neck in the same way a child pops the head off a dandelion.
I have so much information and so many thoughts swirling around in my head, and I am exhausted. In addition to the adoption stress, I think it’s also that I’m recovering from the time change from vacation, getting the kids back on their schedules, I haven’t been able to sleep much, I’m playing catch-up at work, I’m playing catch-up at home (WOW I’ve done a lot of laundry since Sunday), etc. I feel like I can barely utter a coherent sentence. Christian and I have been trying to have meaningful conversations about our adoption plans and options, but I feel like we mostly just stare at each other with our mouths hanging open like a couple of morons. We’re both pretty smart people, but it seems like we’re mostly mumbling things like, “Uh… I don’t know. What do you think?”
We have gotten some positive (or at least hopeful) news from our agency. Though they certainly cannot guarantee anything, they still think it is possible that we could have a referral in Vietnam before September 1. We are at a good place on “the list,” and the fact that we are open to minor developmental delays, low birth weight, etc. gives us a better chance at being matched with a child. Also positive is that our agency has not had any problems with I600 investigations so far and they are not working in any of the “blocked” provinces, so we don’t have to worry as much as some parents do that the United States would deny the child’s immigration visa if we do get a referral. A week and a half ago I was only feeling like we had a 1% chance of completing this adoption. Now I’m feeling more like it’s 60%
Another positive is that although our agency has stopped accepting outside applications for their Thailand program, they are considering families with current applications on a case-by-case basis. We have been given the go ahead to begin a dossier for Thailand while we wait to see what happens with Vietnam. Thailand has a solid, stable program, but it is very small. While Vietnam had 750 or so adoptions last year, Thailand had only about 50. The estimated time right now to complete the process is 24-30 months. That is a long time to be in process since things can change so quickly in international adoption, but our agency has been working there since the 1970s, so it’s about as secure as an international program can be. Still, the fact that it could be 2011 before we bring a child home is kind of daunting.
We also have our appointment tomorrow with a local domestic adoption attorney. I’ve been thinking about what to include in my “Dear Birthparents” letter and in our adoption profile for the last two weeks. Ten days ago I would have said that we would sign on the dotted line tomorrow and get the process going. Now I am not so anxious, but it certainly can’t hurt to gather the information.
P.S. The fact that the Embassy’s statement makes me even more concerned about the circumstances surrounding Zoe’s adoption is weighing heavy on my mind too, so please do not think that aspect of all of this has escaped me. Since we have been home and Phu Tho was closed, I had heard many of the things in the Embassy report were happening. It just compounds my worries to see it in black and white on a US government website. I’m sure I will write about it someday. I just can’t express my thoughts in a remotely articulate way yet.