I have always presented the positive side of international adoption on this blog, even when I knew there were some not-so-positive things going on. My reasoning was that my primary purpose for creating this blog was so that Noah and Zoe would have it later. Since it was for my kids, I didn’t want to include any of the negative. I never really imagined I would have so many other readers.
I have reconsidered this approach for two reasons. First, I realize that Noah and Zoe will both probably have questions about adoption later, and I need to be prepared to share the truth with them (the whole truth), though certainly I will have to wait until it is age-appropriate. I may save some posts for them to read when they are older.
Second, I have realized that I need to be more responsible to the PAPs (prospective adoptive parents) who read my blog, as I know there are many. It’s not fair to them to always present such a bright and rosy picture. After I posted to an adoption message board yesterday about our agency and another message about corruption in Phu Tho province, a PAP pointed out today on that board that my blog was one of the “happy” ones she followed when she was starting the adoption process. That comment made me feel a little guilty, and convinced me that I need to share what I know. I need to present the bad with the good. PAPs need to know both sides to be able to make responsible decisions about the agencies they choose, and so they know what kinds of questions to ask during the adoption process. They also need to know how to recognize the red flags.
So, over the next few days (and probably more) I will share some of what I have learned about international adoption in general, Vietnam adoption, the corruption that has been discovered in the province where Zoe was adopted, and why I would not recommend the agency we worked with. If you don’t want to know about the negative stuff, just try to skip those posts. I promise to continue to post funny stuff about our family and adorable photos of Noah and Zoe, too.