Losing a friend

My friend Jasen Shore died yesterday. He was 34. He had cystic fibrosis and had been in hospice, so it wasn’t a shock, but it was still a surprise. I had known Jasen since I was 13, and it seemed like he would live forever. Life expectancies for cystic fibrosis patients just never seemed to apply to him. Every time things would go downhill, he would come back from it.

Jasen was actually more than just a friend to me. He was my former fiancé. We were only engaged briefly (still within the jeweler’s 30-day return policy to get a refund on the ring), but we dated for a while. We were dating when he had his double lung transplant in 1999. He stayed with me when he got out of the hospital. Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago.

Jasen was always the wild and crazy party guy, living each day to its fullest. That was fine when we were teenagers, but it wasn’t such a good trait to have in a boyfriend/ potential husband when we were in our 20s. After his transplant, he promised to settle down and that’s when we got engaged. I know he tried to be good, but it just didn’t work out for him, and that just wasn’t going to work out for us.

Jasen joked a few weeks ago that if we had gone through with it, we would probably be divorced by now anyway. He said he thought Christian was a great guy, and he was happy for me that I am married now with two beautiful kids. He kept up with my blog, as does his mom, Susan (who enjoys reading about the adventures of Noah and Zoe and said, “I’d share my Cheerios with those two cuties any day”).

I took the kids to see him a couple of times in the hospital. It is quite a feat to manage two babies in a hospital room when they are grabbing for the oxygen tanks, IVs, bio-hazard bags, etc., but I’m still glad we got to visit.

Jasen will be missed by his friends and family. His funeral is Thursday at Shirley Brothers Funeral Home at Eller and Allisonville. Visitation is from Noon – 1 pm. Services are at 1 pm. I’m sure it will be a packed house.

Memorial contributions in Jasen’s name can be made to the Indiana Organ Procurement Organization or Riley Children’s Hospital. Or, find out how to be an organ and tissue donor at Donate Life America.

Rae Hodge (of the band Dave & Rae), me, and Jasen at a Wednesday night Dave & Rae show at BW3 after his transplant in 1999:


4 thoughts on “Losing a friend

  1. My stepson, Brian, has CF and he is just like you described your friend. In fact, he was engaged over the summer and now is not because of his partying ways.
    Reading that just reminds me that we won’t be able to keep him. I hate to think about it because he is a good kid and we love him. He’s 21 and just so lovable and funny 🙂
    I’m really sorry for your loss.

  2. Pingback: The possibilities « My Minivan Rocks!

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